Weaning breastmilk | Self thoughts

Reducing my pump frequently starting from today!

Dropping from 4 to 3 pumps now. Now technically I will only be pumping every 8 hours! Shiok! 6am, 2pm and 10pm 😄

The reason for this is that I wanna stop EBM by the time I return back to work.

Actually i hardly have very badly engorged boobs… so dragging the intervals longer is not really an issue for me. Yst I went to visit a friend at her place to see her babies, I was shocked when I came home with hard boobies. First time sia.

Sometimes I “self willowed” to myself… People at the age of 30 plus already drives a car, lives in condo, holds a senior management position, has a happy family with a few kids, goes for yearly vacations. But where am I now?

Going downslope. Yes, I do once have a house, a husband and I have a lovely daughter now. And yes, I have an okay paying job too. But why does god have to give me something and then take it away from me again? House will be gone in due time, rotten husband.

But thank god for my sweet lovely daughter. I have my occasional dark days… as you know social media makes one compare things likes “Why them? Why are people so happy? Why not me? What did I do wrong?” Unless you close fb close instagram, there is no way to unsee those picture perfect moments, happy families, basically happy faces like they are rejoicing life and their loved ones.

I often told myself, everyone has their stories to tell. If they are truly happy like in their pics, I am happy for them. I am going to tell my story in a diff way, the way I want to live my life… not by the standards set by others. With that, I will learn to be more optimistic of the future and what god has planned for me. (Disclaimer: I am not Christian).

Grab Encounter

Why nowadays grab shows a certain amount when you confirmed the booking but the email receipt was a diff amount huh? I thought all along the booking amount is flat rate? No?

I grabshare with a lady yst. When she reached her destination, the uncle said $17. The lady showed him her phone which reflected $15. The lady then asked if its ERP charges. The uncle said “Its reflected on my phone that its $17, just pay me $17. The diff you go n ask grab, I can issue you receipt. Wtf?! The lady LL paid.

Share with you all a joke.

Yesterday SGH CARE called to confirm the disposal
of my 3 blastocysts and also update baby’s details in their record. They called me but i didn’t pick up, so they called AH.

AH did pick up and he texted me afterwards.

AH: Sgh care say they can't contact you? Say they need baby details. I told them info is confidential.
Me: Oh I probably missed their call (Checked call record, indeed)

***thinking of his reply to CARE, haha what info is confidential, the nurse must thought how come his man so weird one? They did IVF with us to conceive their baby leh. The nurse must be scratching her head***

So, I called CARE back.

Me: Hello, I received a missed call on getting my baby’s details?
Nurse: Oh yes. We called your husband earlier and he like refused to give. Why like that ah?
Me: Oh we are actually separated
Nurse: Oh ic. No wonder… are you feeling okay now.

Me: No worries, I am fine now.
Nurse: Do you have a baby boy or girl?
Me: Baby girl
Nurse: Great! At least now you have a company 😊

I think that AH must be feeling damn lousy. The nurse asked for baby’s dob, time of birth, birth weight and birth complications (if any), but as a father, he can’t answer any of these questions. LOUSY!

I am looking for a job with more work life balance. Let me know if you know of any ok?

Preferably: 5 days work week, 9am to 6pm. Marketing/Communications/Marcom/Administrative Support/Personal Assistant role.

My current job is damn pathetic. Not just with no WLB, but no AWS, no variable bonus, no increment across the board, recently removed the flexi benefit, going to implement 6 days work week (wth). Now with littleC I don’t know how to continue working there… but i need a job 😞 Been sending out resumes and went for some interviews but all to no avail. Haiz.

3 months vaccination at Polyclinic

Thank you everyone who wrote me a comment in the previous post. You peeps are an amazing bunch. I wanted to thank each n everyone of you in the message but I accidentally pressed back and my almost finished draft was gone in a sec! 🤯

Anyway, appreciate those of you who tried to give me more details about your lo having to go thru the sedated hearing test and open up about your own/their child’s hearing impairment. Kudos to you 😊 In one way or another, your comments made me feel so much better.

Having hearing loss on one ear does not mean the end of the world I know, but who doesn’t want their child to be flawless like any other child right? I was at the physiotherapy clinic for littleC’s flat head check and I saw parents with child on wheel chair, on tubes and etc I admit I did feel better after seeing kids worst off. Like I have said, one ear hearing loss is nothing to compared to other more unfortunate kids out there.

I don’t know why, I just have a very strong feeling that littleC is not deaf on her left ear. She startles even at very very slight sound or even when tip toed passed her to the toilet. Maybe her functional ear is very sharp but I still have strong faith that both her ears are fine. We talked to her on both sides of her ears and she often smiles back or baby talk back to us. She’s a bubbly baby in general.

I still pin a tiny pinch of hope that the detailed hearing test will prove nothing wrong with her left ear. Like mummy 对你有信心！Maybe its just fluid, ear wax or just cuz her ears aren’f fully developed as she is borderline premature? Too many maybes. And yes, maybe she’s just fine and later test will show? Thinking too much now do me no good, I know.

Oh, before I forgot, she took her 3 months vaccines today! Besides the 5-in-1 jab, I also took the other 2 optional jabs… so total of 2 jabs and 1 med taken orally. Think she’s Mulan, she yells for only a short while and stopped. Always my brave baby 🙂

Now praying no fever 🙏🏻 so far temp has been hovering around 37.3 deg.

My poor girl.

Just came back from KKH ENT with a bad news 😞

littleC’s 5th hearing test confirmed that her LEFT ear has no response and FAILED. Meaning she can be deaf on her left 😢 The Dr asked a series of qns:
-Any family history of hearing loss?
-Any pregnancy complications? (Aging placenta not considered)
-Any high blood/diabetics during pregnancy?
-Any birth complications?

My answers are no to all of the above.

The next step administered is to go for another detailed hearing test to understand to what degree is her hearing impaired on her left ear. Haiz.

Here’s the 3 test to be done under sedation. Yes, SEDATION. She needs to be sedated cuz the test won’t be accurate of bb moves during the test. The only good thing is babies are given medicine to sedate them, not like adults needs a jab. Oh, babies also need to fast 3 hours prior the sedation med. Mothers know la, how to fast baby? But I try la….

My next Q to Dr was, “Can her impaired hearing on one ear be treated?” She said No and she has to live with it. “However as her right ear is functioning well, I don’t see any issues in her speech and language development later on”. But still….

I am very very upset.

Why can’t my poor littleC be a healthy little girl? 😞😞😞

Thinking of buying an education savings plan for littleC within min risk? Any recommendations?

EBM Journey

I have a confession.

I really hate pumping breastmilk.

I don’t mind latching if baby can do it but when it comes to pumping… the thought of it already puts me off. Most of the time I need to multi task while pumping cuz baby needs attention and not every time I will get help. Sometimes when she really yell loudly and makes the damn kelian sound, I have no choice but to stop half way, attend to her, then resume pumping again. At times it takes me 3 pauses/interruption to finish a 30mins pump.

Its damn sian to remove the flanges (in my case freemie’s cups) on/off for so many times that it totally kills my mood. Freemie is multi tasking extension to my pump, but somehow I still couldn’t quite multi-task except for using my phone cuz it makes me lose appetite if I pump and eat my lunch concurrently. I usually eat very little portion of lunch and will affect the nutritious level of my bm as well I guess.

Tbh, I am looking forward to end my pump journey when I return back to work.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not looking forward to go back to work but to complete my 4 months of expressing bm for littleC. That’s the best I can do for you dearest 😊

I know it is recommended to breastfeed for min 6 months, but who cares, I am doing what I deemed best for mother and baby 🤱 No stress… No stress…

I don’t think littleC can sttn anymore😫

She wakes for night feeds 3 days in a row already. Haiz.Yesterday’s feeds are 11pm, 230am, 630am. *Zombified*

Haha why must we repeat words when we talk to toddler huh? Just overheard what I neighbour said to her daughter… “Do you wanna go swimming swimming later? If you want you better do your HW now or else later late late already. Have you take out your sock socks? I am watering the plant plant now” 🤦‍♀️ I don’t think I will repeat so many words in a sentence when I talk to littleC next time man.

The AH came again earlier. Broke record, he stayed here for 2.5 HOURS! 😠 Damn sickening can? I hate it when he rubs his nose against baby’s, kiss her and etc. Wah lau don’t be so fake lah. When he saw the bb’s ultra scan give me a disgusted look, saw her detailed scan on the huge screen gave me a “rushing for time” expression and told me “why asked me come here and waste time?”, now his 父爱泛滥？Pui! 做人不用那么假。🌚

*Sterilising littleC’s face now*

Who knows maybe he just kissed that ATB and come kiss my littleC.

I am damn fucking relieved I left that AH! He played punk again and again.

He just visited earlier and I asked him why he still haven’t figure out the ibanking monthly payout function thing, he gave me an instant black face 🌚 WTF!

He said, u scared I never give you money is it? Can you stop reminding me every month? I didn’t do the ibanking thing cuz i dont have ur acc no? (What kinda bullshit is that 🤯🤬)

How the fk he transfer me the money last month via ibanking fast transfer if he don’t have my acc no. I think he just 不甘愿do lor.

Hello purplish babies, long time no see.

Getting back in shape starts TODAY! Going to do 2 hours gym today 💪💪💪

Why?😫😫

2.6km at 8.5 speed (190 calories). The speed shown in the pic is the warm down mode. Can’t takena stable pic at 8.5 speed cuz too shaky liao 😛

54 calories from this one…

ya this puller… dunno what’s this machine called.

who gets itchy and rash during workout huh? I do….

Shiok! Just ended. 2 hours of time to myself is really a luxury now. I will make this a weekly thing. Wanna do that more often also can’t cuz need to depends on my mum’s timing.