Why is it that there are news after news about parents abusing their child and abandon new born babies while on the other hand there are people like me who is #ttc forever.

Life is unfair. I just need a child to love and care for but it is just not happening. 😢😢 Will my turn ever come? It's been one year and counting…

Babies, please pick your parents wisely.

I used to say jokingly to him, "tonight i have no lao gong" 😔 whenever he never sleeps at the same time as me. Which happens most of the time anyway. Yst, i seriously dunno he pms or whatsoever, he suddenly yelled at me that if i make that statement again then i'll get it from him. Did I even do sthg wrong? He always makes me think how his mind works. So weird. How can anyone just flare up like that?

你不值得我对你千依百顺

Many friends told me 你不必这样迁就你的老公的。During times when i need to show my anger, I have too. I should let him know he is in fact wrong. Easy said than done. Cuz they are not me, they dont know how bad is his temper. If i continue to stay angry or give him attitude, i'll be the one who lose out. Firstly, he wudn't ever apologise and hence even tho i persist on i still have to give in towards the end. So, might as well as now than later.

Secondly, if i retaliate bk, he will turn both verbally and physically violent. How can someone so petite conquer a giant. (Did I mention he is big?) I simply couldn't… crying in front of him doesn't work anymore. In fact he hates to see me cry and ask for his pitiness. But one can't control emotions one what. If i need to cry, i can only do it in my blanket. How pathetic is my life right?

He likes to asked me this qn, "How much do you love me? give me a %"

I always patronise with a 98% or 99%. But deep inside, i know dont love this person anymore. Seriously if time can turn back, i will NEVER marry him. Not even wanna be a friend. He is such an asshole hor. Pity, hot tempered, possessive freak, lazy bum, only recognises his computer games and etc etc. If you want me to think of his strength, basically nothing you know. WHY ME? Did i do sthg evil in my last life to get this?

从失望到绝望

为什么你一直让我流泪😪😪😪😪

Seriously why am i holding back this marriage? Am i afraid of not able to cope with the aftermath? Am i afraid of being judged as the divorcee? Am i afraid of being alone?

I know i have a supportive family whom will always welcome me with open arms if i'm to terminate this marriage.

I feel that he is like a lil boy who childish throws tantrum as and when he likes. I have to coax him everytime this happens. He never in this 6 years of dating/marriage ever gave in to me.

I'm the one who always apologies be it my fault or his. I'm the one who needs to put myself so low to "kow tow" to him and beg him to "forgive me". Do you think a guy who never put down his "face" truely loves his wife?

I remember I read an article somewhere that a guy who gives in even tho he felt he's right truely loves the wife. He is afraid of losing her n hence willing to do it. From this case study, I feel that my hb will feel nthg even if I am to walk away from him one day.

Watching the 9pm drama. Rui en said "如果人生可以重来，我决对不会嫁给你!" Yes, that's how I truely felt now.

Should I give myself a long break?

Everytime we quarrelled, I feel we are drawing nearer n nearer to the end. You pushing me away, making me certain of the decision, you are listing more n more reason why i should leave you. Our quarrels are not like the normal couple bickering, they are cutting a deeper wound into my already wounded scar. It is bleeding non stop.

Whenever i see friends showing off their world best husband，I feel like unfriending them. Seriously. Yes, i am jealous. Why ppl can get a husband with 10 good qualities when mine doesn't even acheive 1/10?

This is a fb post by a friend:

Thanks for being the awesome hubby to me and now daddy to baby. Thanks for always being there, doing household chores (more than me, and allow me to be lazy), cooking yummy food for me and ensuring I am always well fed with home cooked food (although I will just say dabao food to save the trouble). Thanks for always bringing Doggie out to pee and poo so I can sleep/nua longer. Thanks for loving me with all the little and big things you do. I am really blessed to have someone like you in my life.

i don't wish to compare but he is too far fetch. Yes i deceives it. You, who's reading this now may be thinking… who ask you not to open your eyes bigger before saying yes? You are asking for it what? Ppl around you have already hinted you to think and think again but you still step into this coffin? Haizz