I know everyone's probably waiting for this post. Haha don't kw y, whenever I share my mishaps or sad stories, I tend to have many new followers. Haha… you'll like to read sad stories yeah?
Yes, we had a talk when he came back that day. He appeared very distanced and withdrawn, not like his usual self, that day. He had no appetite for dinner… only ate some leftover papaya in the fridge. I wonder what's wrong with him? If he is the one who wants to walk away, why is it then so hard for him?
Then we started to talk serious. His opinion never change a single bit. As I've mentioned in the previous entry, he feels that we are basically different individuals, We have very diff school of thoughts, we have diff values, we cannot ever agree on sthg, we even have diff family values. He thought that time can help to close up our gap but it never happen.
He said he has been compromising me in the past. He wants a wife who can cook for him occasionally, 体贴him and exchange intelligent knowledge with him, I never fulfill any of these. Not only that, he also never see any improvements in me. I am not keen to learn cooking or have the interest to read up on world news and current affairs. He felt that he cannot live with someone who is not constantly learning. Although he had a little point here, but my heart broke again.
Is this serious enough to wanna walk away?
I felt i am at his mercy now. Really. Now with this baby, he knows I cannot 理直气壮anymore. I need him to complete the family. So I guess he can play the chess game anyway he want it to be now. What i can do is only to play along, he will set the rules.
If there's no baby, I'll definitely agree with a divorce. Since he couldn't love me the way I am, what's the point?
Oh yes, one more point to bring up. He wants me to stop paying so much attention on keeping the house spick and span. He rather pay attention to his needs or cook a nice meal whenever I can. He said I am selfish… i only care about things that belongs to the both of us (i.e. the house). I clean the house because its ours and I will be calculative if I do things that only benefit him (i.e. Help him prep work clothes every morning, make
him a drink every dinner).
To me, not that I dont wanna help. Just that, you know every time I am busy with other things like doing the laundry, wash the dishes and etc he is playing his computer games… then why cant he do it huh? If I am the one eng eng cheng cheng, I will do lah. Its an unfair game isn't it? we are both working and tired after work.
Having said so much, yes, the stupid me agreed to give in to him yet again. I have thought over it…sudden outburst are mainly caused by accumulation of unhappy thots overtime. When there's sthg not mended in the past, it will snowball to even bigger prob in the future. Maybe I need to change, cannot stick to the thinkg of "Hey, you love me then you need to accept who I am". So I will 改改看。Maybe it will be for the better, when he sees changes and effort, he will also 内疚 n start to mk changes…
I asked him why he suddenly have this 感触? Nothing happened, no quarrels or whatsoever and suddenly this… he said, maybe he has evolved and knows what he really wants in life 🙄. I further probed, is it because of the bb and he is stressed over it when he saw the ultrasound? he said he dont think so. Now he is so vexed over this thing cuz i had his bb. 你说sad不sad？
I don't know if I have made the right decision. But i guess this is the best I can do for the both of us and our baby. I 🙏🏻 things will turn better.
// StarzDream // 